"She's so multi-talented, look at what she can do! She's a smart girl, look at her grades!" You can say I'm doing great, connecting with new clients and maintaining old ones. Even before then, I was applauded for my academic achievements, talents, or my volunteer work. While I'm a nerd at heart and enjoy helping out, my biggest setbacks have always come from being insecure. It created a constant battle with fear, anxiety, and depression. I was applauded for some things I knew were good, but never resonated with me. I found myself becoming a shell of myself once I hit college. I got straight As and no joy. I sang across the waters and was grateful for the experience, only for depression to once again hit me like a truck. I had many short, high moments and even deeper, longer, low moments. This battle with insecurity has been one I cannot fight on my own. For as many achievements that I've made, I realized I could've gone further if not for trusting only in my strength. When I began to trust in God's way, my burdens began to look smaller.

 

Although time has passed and healing is not overnight, my testimony is that I don't fight in my own strength because I no longer fight alone. Circumstances come and go, but Jesus never changes. He came knowing all of my faults and setbacks would come about, and he's walking me through it. Day after day, I see a little more of myself being freed from that fear, anxiety, and depression. It is consistently being replaced by His peace and confidence. Although I still stumble from time to time, I'm overwhelmed by his grace and mercy to lift me up, dust me off, and have me try again; be better than I was before, and love me like I never faltered. That's what it means to be a child of God. I know what it's like to feel like all hope is lost, but to finally feel like there is hope yet makes my current and even future situations look like situations I will overcome by the power of Jesus Christ. That power, is Love.